Prevention

How to avoid this problem.

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Critical Essay: Parenting

    Hopefully, you now understand why people avoid responsibility and the results of these attitudes. (if you are lost, go back to our Cause and Effects pages.) Now perhaps you have a better grasp on what a huge problem this is in our society. Now how do we prevent it? We will address some of the major methods here. Prevention requires more than a little effort, it requires responsibility and maturity.

Parenting

        Raise responsible adults. The best way to avoid this problem in the future is to be good examples for children. Parenting plays a huge role in this. If children are brought up to be responsible citizens, they will be far less likely to deflect responsibility when they become adults. Repetition works well for children, so constantly remind them of their obligations. At Whitaker Elementary school in Cincinnati, Ohio, signs are scattered across the wall that boldly read “I am responsible for the outcome of my behavior.” Although they would not like to admit it, the children agree that the focus on responsibility helps them make better choices. Students there still make mistakes, but they know that they will be held accountable.

        Be sure to impose clear rules on children, with definite consequences. Enforce the rules, too. Children quickly recognize when their parents don’t mean what they say. However, just as discipline is important, so is praise. Children rely on their parents’ approval. It is important to praise them often. Children respond well to rewards, such as a “special plate” at dinner, a big hug from Mommy, a high-five from Daddy, or any kind words. Motivate your children to do their best, and they will become more responsible. As an article from Pagewise.com reads, "Effort needs to be made so that the child feels like he is contributing to the betterment and welfare of the family." The author goes on to say that this can be accomplished through simple tasks and praise (3).

What are you modeling to your children through your own behavior? (2)

        The most important part of responsible parenting is to practice what you preach. Children model their parents’ behavior, and they pick up nearly everything. Be a good role model for the children in your life, be they yours of someone else’s. Children notice differences between an adult’s words and their actions. Don’t send them mixed messages. Above all, be responsible yourself! Pay your bills on time, help others, vote every year, don’t judge other people, and use your head!

for a more in-depth account on “Parenting to Prevent” click here 

Personal Recognition

        Avoid the trend yourself. We discussed how to prevent scapegoating in the future, by instilling feelings of responsibility in children at a young age. Now what about today? Can anything be done to stop this problem today? Of course! The important thing to remember is to change yourself before you try to change others.

        “Me?” you may be thinking. “Not me! I don’t cause this! It’s everyone else’s fault that this is a problem!” Aha! There you go, a typical scapegoater. nearly everyone is to blame, and if you examine your conscience, you may find that you are indeed a culprit. Don’t freak out. No one is perfect, just admit to yourself that you may have deflected blame from yourself not too long ago.

"Undoing scapegoating...can be positive for all..." (1)

        Learn to recognize the avoidance of responsibility. Realize when you are at fault, and admit your mistakes rather than blame someone else. As Douglas Twitchell of Inside Out Ministries reminds his readers, "We cannot... blame one another for our actions. My actions are my responsibility. Your actions are your responsibility." (4) While his article is Biblically based, it is applicable to all areas of life. Throughout the personal recognition process, it is nearly certain that you will slip and shift responsibility. Simply realize your mistake, and correct yourself. If needed, apologize (if you blame a person). Changing your own mindset will take practice and self-discipline. It will not be easy, but it can be done! 

Public Recognition

        Know when someone else is setting the trend. Now that you are fixing your own habits, you can begin noticing the trend in others. While it is nearly impossible to change everyone’s views on this issue, you can be sure to look at statements from a different perspective. When you hear a prominent political figure avoiding responsibility for the outcome of their actions, learn to see through their statement to the real truth. Sadly, we can’t assume everyone’s words to be true, we must search for the real truth.

Accountability

        Friends don't let friends blame others. Once you are on the right track to accepting all responsibility for your own actions, it would be wise to ask people to keep you accountable. Accountability partners are often used within a religious setting, usually (but not always) a spiritually mature person helping a spiritually growing person. Accountability partners can be used outside of the church, however, and they can be used for this epidemic. Tell others how you feel about this downhill trend. If and when a friend of yours deflects blame from his or herself unknowingly, politely remind them where the responsibility lies, and help them to see how they can rectify the situation. Remind them that nothing can be solved that is not acknowledged. However, it is important to not sound self-righteous about this subject, because almost everybody has made the same mistake. If you ask a friend or family member to keep you accountable - it can be as discreet or indiscreet as you so desire - you will find that you will pay more attention to your own words. Many people watch themselves more closely when their behaviors are being scrutinized by another. It is important to help others avoid this trend while avoiding it yourself.

"You might like to find someone to help you progress towards resolution..." (1)

        Nobody said this would be easy. It takes effort to be responsible. It takes guts to be mature. It takes brains to not blame others for the outcome of your own behavior. However, we can choose to rise above this disgusting trend, and prevent this problem from getting worse. It’s in our hands, and we can do it!

REFERENCES:

. Harrison, Gabriel. "Undoing Scapegoating." 2 July 2003. The Scapegoat Society. 7 December 2004. 

. McGraw, Dr. Phil. "What Kind of Role Model Are You?" Parenting: Raising Kids. Dr. Phil Online. 2 December 2004.

. "Raising a Responsible Child." Pagewise, Inc. 14 December 2004.

. Twitchell, Douglas. "Responsibility for My Actions." Inside Out Ministries. 8 January, 2004. South Paris, ME. 14 December, 2004.

Source of Graphic: http://www.okoun.cz/boards/ vyhubte_motoristy!

Article written by Emily Stegman. Last edited December 14, 2004.

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